Firing someone is never easy, and this story from my husband’s first firing as a manager demonstrates just how chaotic and emotional the process can be. Here’s what we learned from the experience, broken into three parts, offering practical takeaways for managers facing similar challenges.
Manager Stories The Fiasco Part 1: The Build-Up
My husband, new to management, was tasked with firing a remote employee in another country. With thin office walls and an inexperienced local manager assisting, the situation was already primed for chaos. I advised him to follow a few key steps:
- Secure a private room for confidentiality.
- Keep security on standby to prevent escalation.
- Schedule the meeting for the end of the day to give the employee space to process.
- Make the conversation brief and compassionate.
Despite his preparation, the situation quickly spiraled out of control, as we learned in part two.
Manager Stories The Fiasco Part 2: The Firing Goes Off the Rails
The day arrived, and my husband initiated the video call with the remote employee, planning to follow the steps above. However, nothing could prepare him for what happened next. As soon as he delivered the news, the employee broke into full-blown sobs—not the quiet kind, but loud, dramatic wailing that echoed through the thin walls.
Suddenly, the office was an audience. A coworker handed the employee a cup of water, and it became clear that the termination wasn’t happening in a private room as planned. The local manager, overwhelmed, suggested a second chance. Feeling pressured, my husband caved and offered a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP).
Fast forward two months—the employee couldn’t meet the PIP targets, resorted to fudging numbers, and was inevitably fired a second time. This time, they secured a private room, but when the employee was allowed to return to collect their belongings, things went from bad to worse. The employee stormed into the office, latched onto their desk, and refused to leave. It took three security guards to remove them, leaving the entire office shaken.
Manager Stories The Fiasco Part 3: The Aftermath
The next morning, the team was rattled. Some were in tears, others visibly concerned about their own job security. My husband faced the challenge of addressing the team while managing his own emotions.
He started by acknowledging the emotional weight of the situation and explained that while he couldn’t discuss details, the decision wasn’t made lightly. He opened the floor for questions and feedback, listening openly—even when he didn’t have all the answers. His honesty and vulnerability helped rebuild the team’s trust, turning a chaotic experience into an opportunity for growth.
Key Lessons for Managers
- Prepare for the Unexpected: Secure a private space, ensure clarity in the process, and be prepared for strong reactions.
- Be Compassionate but Firm: Show empathy, but avoid dragging out the process—it can create more harm than good.
- Transparency Builds Trust: After a termination, be transparent with your team about the process, and allow for open dialogue to address concerns.
- Vulnerability Strengthens Leadership: Admitting mistakes and showing vulnerability can build deeper trust with your team.
Firing someone is one of the hardest parts of being a manager, but by handling it with care, empathy, and transparency, you can maintain the integrity of your team and foster long-term trust.
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Let’s Talk
Have you ever experienced a termination gone sideways, or learned valuable lessons from difficult conversations? Share your stories in the comments. Let’s create a dialogue and learn from one another’s experiences!
For more insights into effective leadership, check out this Harvard Business Review article on how to retain top talent by focusing on managerial effectiveness.